I want to tell you that this blog may evoke some triggers in readers who have experienced assault or abuse. Please read with caution.

Have you ever watched Stranger Things? There was a part in the second series where the main character, Will, kept having these nightmares where he was running away from this dark and very frightening black force they called "The Mind Flayer." As Will explained this terror to his mother's boyfriend Bob, Bob gave him solid advice. He said, "confront the monster, and he will go away." However, (spoiler alert) that is not what the Mind Flayer did. Instead, the Mind Flayer penetrated Will's body like a virus. It took control of him. Later in the story, Will's mother Joyce discovered that heat caused extreme discomfort and pain in the Mind Flayer. Eventually, they heated Will hot enough that the Mind Flayer darted out of his body like a bat out of hell. Will was finally himself again.

Those two powerful scenes in the second series of Stranger Things are the closest description I have to how Shania's photoshoot felt. Shania deeply desired to use her portrait experience to tell her story, but someone would come to protect her this time. She wanted to dip into her broken past so the images could speak and rewrite her story. She, like Will, wanted to face her monster head-on. My stylist and I overdid her makeup. We wrote words that she was called and left handprints on the places of her body that people touched without consent.

Before we could progress to the protection, Shania needed a healthy space to release her anger. I told her to let it all out that I could take it. Shania sat there for a moment holding herself in a pause. All at once, she released the most ear-piercing scream I had ever heard. A cry as intense as that of Will painfully removing from his body the Mind Flayer. As terrifying as it was, it was a relief knowing it was no longer inside this young, beautiful woman. Once she released this scream, her energy changed. The typical anxious and overwhelmed Shania was calm. My intuition told me whatever she was holding on to was now gone. She was ready, and it was time to move her into her true self.

I grabbed a bucket of warm water and a washcloth and washed away everything. I wiped away the extra makeup, the depreciating words, and the handprints we made on Shania's body. I embraced her for a moment and reinforced that she was safe now. We changed her outfit from black and dark to white and bright. I wanted to let her do what was innate to her, and we gave her space to dance. Shania quickly lit up the room with her movement and laughter, and we all felt the relief she was now experiencing.

Shania took a pivot on her path after her photoshoot. She continued to be curious about healing and began digging into even more support resources to help her through her journey. Today, Shania is using her broken past to paint a brighter future for kids in our community as a foster mother. I couldn't be more excited for her in this season of life.

Many clients will thank me for their healing, and while I am grateful for their appreciation, they must understand that they did all of the heavy lifting. They were the ones that made an effort to show up for themselves. I can provide a safe and nurturing experience for my clients, but ultimately, they have to want this for themselves consciously. So many obstacles stand in their way, from finances to a lack of support, shame, guilt, and little to no self-worth. Saying yes to ourselves and accepting responsibility to care for ourselves the same as we care for our loved ones is a radical decision, and it takes so much courage and strength.

If you struggle to say yes to yourself, our 2023 broken and beloved project would be an excellent fit for you.

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